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Credit

To my friend Jenn, who wrote about half the cards. After I published the event idea on my website but before I actually ran it for the first time some years later, she ran it for her meetup in Waterloo and answered a bunch of my questions about it when I was gathering up the courage to run it for a conference. She also has a great website at jenn.site.

If you have good ideas for scenario cards or strategy cards, you can email me at sullcyuye at gmail, and I may add it to the list.

Preparation

  • Print conflict cards here: gdoc
  • Print strategy cards here (on green paper if possible): gdoc

If you convert those google docs to PDFs, print those PDFs on the standard US printer paper, and cut the paper with scissors according to the faint lines the cards in the top row will be taller by a third of an inch than the other cards. Sorry. You can make this disparity smaller by eyeballing and intuition. I've found that the slightly differing card heights don't really get in the way of the game.

If you just want the text of the cards, not formatted into a google doc grid, they are at the bottom of this post.

Intro script

Hello! Let's get started. I'd like to do a scene first, and make the rules explicit after it. I'd like two volunteers for the first scenario, which is: A is a meetup organizer, B is a participant who has strong body odor. A would like B to wash. If you get stuck, I will hand you a blue card with a suggestion as to what to do next. Do I have volunteers, especially anyone with improv experience?

[get 2 volunteers]

Great. The only thing I want to flag at this time is that when I hand you a card, you should read it out loud to the audience before proceeding with the scene. Don't read it silently. When you are done reading it, hand it back to me.

[do the scene]

Don't go back to your seats, you will be a helper for the next scene. [ideally there should be seats right next to mine for them to take]

So the overall structure of each improv scene is that I get two actors to play a scene. When an actor gets stuck, a helper will hand them a green strategy card. When the actors finish a scene, they will become helpers for the next actors.

Actors: Whenever you get a green card handed to you, you read out loud that card. When you are done reading a card, hand it back to the person who gave it to you.

Helpers: if you hand an actor a card but they don't notice, tap their elbow or shin. Don't hand them a card if they're on a good stride. Do hand them a card if they are retreading ground or pausing for long periods.

Finally: Improv is about yes-anding your partner, upholding the new details they introduce, and being goofy. However, I ask that you try not to be goofy in a way that “ruins the conflict”. So, don't introduce factors that make the conflict an overwhelming win or loss.

Variations to throw into the middle of the game

1. Serious scene

“This scene is a serious scene, where you are optimizing almost purely for having a conflict with someone, and try not to do overt comedy. You may make people laugh anyway, but this should be a side effect and not a main purpose. Do I have two volunteers to play a serious scene for the scenario, <>?”

(After getting actors)

“Helpers, please hand actors cards that help them play a serious scene.”

Note: I enjoyed making every 3rd scene a serious scene. I ordered scenario cards in advance so that the more realistic/difficult cards got played as serious scenes.

2. The Alex Game

“As a one off, we are going to play the Alex game. The Alex game is when there are three people named Alex in a friend group, and each of them feels like the other two should go by a nickname.”

(To the two helpers from the previous game) “Hand the card to any player you like.”

3. Goofier

“This scenario is about conflict, <>. This round we are going to get goofier and have a third improv player who will interject up to three times. Each time, they should make the scene worse somehow. Ideally they should wait a bit until the scene is established before deciding what character they're entering as.

Tips

I start a timer for 4m30s for each scene, and stop the players by loudly saying “end scene” at a good stopping point after that. I've let it go to 6m if the scene is unusually funny or good. For me, the best stopping point is a funny line that's hard to follow for the other player.

For calibration: I've discovered that, with the 4m30s timer per scene, I go through 15 cards in 90 minutes.

Sometimes players keep cards by accident. If you want to use the same cards to play multiple games, try to get them to check their pockets and return stray cards to you.

Conflict cards

A is hosting an event and wants to invite B's ex, who has a social incompatibility with B. B thinks that not getting to come is unfair.

A posted a group picture online. The photo is the only one of A in a high-effort Halloween costume. B wants them to take it down because B appears in an unflattering way in the photo.

A is a disabled person with a smaller chore list in the group house. B is their housemate who is frustrated A is not managing to accomplish even the smaller list.

A and B are strangers at the beginning of the pandemic, arguing over who gets the last roll of toilet paper at the store.

A is sitting in a bus seat. B is a stranger right next to them listening to a video at full volume.

A and B are custodians in a museum of cursed objects. They disagree on whether to accept a new donation, a doll that is only slightly creepy.

A owns the group house. B is behind on rent and wants reduced payments. A's slowness on maintenance caused B to get mold poisoning last year and B feels owed.

A and B are married. A wants to be uploaded (in a process that will destroy their original brain), B does not want this.

A is a teacher and believes B, a parent, is too involved in their child's schoolwork.

A is a person who does not want to talk about politics. B is their politically engaged acquaintance who wants to know who A voted for.

A unsolicitedly offered B their guest room when B visited their city last year. Now A is visiting B's city and wants to stay in B's house. B does not want this.

A is the parent of the most assertive child at the playground. B is the parent of the least assertive, and thinks A should rein in their child's behavior.

A and B are coworkers arguing over the temperature setting in the office.

A feels belittled by their offscreen coworker and wants their boss B to intercede. B thinks A should have a thicker skin.

A is the most successful sibling. B is their parent who wants A to cosign a loan for the least diligent sibling's college expenses.

A regularly cooks for large dinner parties, but never invites B, their friend with stringent dietary requirements. B is angry about the exclusion.

A is B's older sibling who helped parent B when they were both children. A is now trying to enlist B into into doing childcare for A's children when A goes on vacation.

A is returning to their car from a hike as a storm is coming. B, a stranger in the parking lot, also wants to get in A's car and get a ride out.

A is an adult who wants to get a dog. B, their sibling, thinks A is irresponsible enough that any pet would suffer under their care, and wants to dissuade A from doing this.

A is at an anime convention and notices their internet acquaintance B stealing things from con booths. A would like them to stop, and B thinks it's not hurting anyone.

A and B are housemates in a six person group house. A does not want to do their assigned chores personally and pays housemate Carol to do theirs. B thinks this breaks the spirit of the group house.

A and B are friends. A recently started a side business selling health supplements, and B thinks this is wrong because the supplements have weak scientific evidence.

Three people named Alex are all part of a newly-forming friend group. Each wants the other two to go by a nickname.

A is dating six people and generally tells them everything. B is A's new partner who does not want any other partners to know about their most recent fight.

A is a meetup organizer. B is an otherwise unproblematic participant who has strong body odor. A would like B to wash.

A organized a hike and acceded to B's request that A not invite third person C. However, B wants A to conceal why C was not invited from C. A wants to be able to tell the truth.

A and B have been in an internet relationship for a year and have finally met irl. A compulsively makes a certain noise. B would like them to stop making it.

A is a hiker. B is another hiker who sees them cut across a switchback, and wants them to not do that.

A and B are siblings whose mom paid for their college. A dropped out, B graduated. B wants A to do the elder care.

Three people named Alex are all part of a newly-forming friend group. Each wants the other two to go by a nickname.

A and B are vampires in a close knit immortal community. A wants to turn C, a new friend, into a vampire also. B doesn't think C is a good fit and objects to C being around forever.

A and B are on the first moon landing mission. A stepped on the moon first by accident. B, the captain who was supposed to be first, wants it not to go on the record.

A is a celebrity nonbinary CEO with an unusual chosen name that become popular after their rise to fame. B is an incompetent intern at the company with the same name. At a company party, A pressures them to change it.

A and B fight over the last seasonal bagel at the Jewish deli.

A and B want to load the dishwasher differently.

A and B are coauthors of an academic paper with inaccuracies. A wants to retract it. B, the lead author, doesn't.

A is hosting a dinner with vegan and meat options. B, a vegan, has brought their pet pig to the party to protest the meat options.

Strategy cards

Channel an old matron who is disgusted by the other person's manners

Be a skeptic, demanding evidence for every claim

Be inhumanly chipper and smiley, but completely unyielding

Grovel and fawn, be so wretched that they give you what you want out of sheer disgust

Guilt trip the other person and make them feel bad for disagreeing with you

Channel a PR spokesperson, turning negatives into “opportunities for growth”

Shift the argument to be about how you are arguing

Play the victim

Use whatever strategy would make the other person look worst to an external audience

Mirror the other person's strategy

Be very sarcastic, repeat their statements in a mocking tone

Act like a stereotypical therapist, turning statements into questions about feelings

Without saying anything violent, channel the body language of a serial killer.

Without saying anything hateful, convey hatred and contempt with body language and tone

Act like a politician dodging the question. Avoid any direct statements

Pretend social reality is overwhelmingly in your favor and their proposal is highly abnormal

Frame it as doing what's right, not personal

Position yourself as the reasonable one, act as if they are being too emotional

Socratic questioning: keep asking “why?” to their arguments

Be saccharine, kill them with kindness

Make very intense, unwavering eye contact

Talk to them like a disappointed parent

Distract them from the issue, keep taking the conversation into irrelevant waters

Feign supreme confidence, even when clearly wrong

Use an authoritative / high status manner

Act confused about the problem, ask questions and misunderstand the answers

Out-adult them, imply that the other person's stance is childish and pathetic

Agree, but then passive-aggressively undermine

Don't take them seriously at all, treat them like a child

Be overly polite and formal

Get into their space

Pull out a sword (helpers: don't use this card if already used 2x in this event)

Lie down and continue the argument from there

Keep referring to your expertise and background

Compare the other person's position to more “evil” positions or archetypes

Name a principle that you cannot betray and stick to it as a justification for needing things to go your way

Emphasize a retraction, such as, “Your friends think you're grea – well, I don't hear about problems they have with you”

Compare them to their parent

Concede a point, but add a new demand

Bring out a relevant book and quote from it (helpers: hand only to expert-seeming players)

Ad hominem attack

Make accusations about the other person's motivations

Threaten legal action

Accuse them of too little lived experience

Accuse them of too much lived experience